sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
