My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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