lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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