yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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