This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
