love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
