I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
