whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
