kristin has been a bad kristin
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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