i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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