I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
