the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
