so let's talk penis.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
