jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
