yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
