You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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