So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
