So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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