Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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