This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
