she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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