he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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