I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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