Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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