You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My liver just had a heart attack.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
