i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
