I never want to see another naked old woman again.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
