i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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