worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
