did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize