4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
