you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
