And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
