Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
