you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I have post one night stand depression
I know her cup size but not her name....
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
