fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
