Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
