when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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