Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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