I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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