quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
