You surviving the open bar?
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I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
