oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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