I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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