evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just gargled with NyQuil
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
