I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
