ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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