No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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