Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize