what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
