just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
