why didn't you poke me back
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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