too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
