Me too!
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
