Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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