I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
