in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
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Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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