we're blogging at a bar
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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