I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
