Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
