Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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