Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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