Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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