where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
