It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize