genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
