Can Purell be used as lube?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I need to align my fucking chakras
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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