Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize