we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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