I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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