I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
