Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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