I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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